They’re everywhere. You can’t escape them. Those annoying people know how to stand too close, talk too much, do inappropriate things at the worst times. Most of us would have met these people mentioned below, worked with them, or may even have been these people ourselves... once. This list is not exhaustive and is a light-hearted look at some of the more annoying habits people display in the workplace.
Photographer: Michal Marcol
- The Claytons Manager. This is the manager you have when you’re not having a manager. They may have the title of ‘manager’ but they are controlled by someone else in their team who really pulls their strings and manages covertly. This symbiotic relationship between The Claytons Manager and the String Puller is inconvenient and gets in the way of anything getting done. This Claytons Manager would benefit from growing some balls. The rest of their team would love them for it, because they can see what's happening a mile off, but are powerless to do anything about it.
- The Short Fuse. Short Fuse lives from crisis to crisis, as he will blow up at a moments notice at the slightest thing, reacting to circumstances which blind Freddy could see were coming. But of course Short Fuse didn’t see it coming, because he’s too focused on controlling everything else except what he should be doing. Short Fuse has never learnt the benefits of looking ahead and short-circuiting problems before they arise. Much more effective to blow up and be reactive, upsetting everybody else in the process, instead of thinking through how to minimise the impact in future.
- The TightRope Walker. The Tightrope Walker is extremely skilled at knowing how much unplanned leave is available to them. They have the amazing ability to produce doctors certificates on the Fridays which coincide with their favourite bands’ gig. Their brow puckers in self-pity as they explain why their serious condition meant they couldn’t possibly be at work. There is just enough truth mixed in to make it half believable, but leaves you feeling like you’ve just been shafted, without any proof.
- The Explainer. The Explainer likes to defend their decisions, their actions, their reasons, their situation over and over in fast, machine-gun style tones to the point where his victims end up agreeing just to be polite. The Explainer is not someone who generally likes to offer help and has exceptional skills at transferring blame to anyone else. The Explainer is emotional, irrational and may speak in ever increasing volume and escalating tone. Can be quite entertaining to the casual observer, however, avoid getting in the firing line at all costs.
- The Big Stick. The Big Stick is the person who wields power through their favourite weapon – fear. They are able to bully others into obedience and agreement with the mere threat of their potential anger and intimidating demands. The Big Stick could benefit from a good slap and pulling their head out of their own lofty imagination to appreciate that others are doing their best. The Big Stick needs desperately to learn a few people management skills, but sadly, being in a position to learn also means acknowledging they don’t yet know it all.
- Way Too Important. Miss Way Too Important will not do certain tasks because they are beneath her. She assumes control and allocates tasks to others making damn sure she doesn’t have to do any filing. She will defend her position of assumed Chief Important Person to anyone who dares question her authority. Miss Way Too Important annoys the hell out of everyone, who only wish she would find herself alone with a good photocopy jam that she has to fix herself – broken fingernail and all.
- Contradiction King. The Contradiction King will say one thing and do another. Oh yes, he says he values relationships, but watch him shaft his staff when it suits him. His office usually has motivational quotes about leadership around the walls, which he never demonstrates. He surrounds himself with managers of guard-dog like tendencies who feed him information from their own perspective. The Contradiction King is to be pitied in some ways, as he is a prisoner in his own office, wielding power through the guard-dogs, he is the blind leading the blind.
Workplaces are full of people with annoying habits. One way of relieving the annoyance factor is to see the funny side. Avoid them, confront them, humour them, whatever you do they will still be annoying.
Do you know any of these people? Click on “comments” and tell me.