Monday, 21 November 2011

kissing in movember

It’s not unusual to see all manner of really bad facial hairdos during Movember.  In fact, I kind of think that the worse they look the better for Movember, for some silly reason.  It’s the bad ‘dos’ that stand out and you remember.  Plus, there’s an underlying sense of humour in the whole movember theme, which renders bad ‘dos’ suddenly cool.  But only for the month of movember!

Facial hair styles of the Hunter:

-       Full Beard – could be the ‘just covered’ look, or contain considerable length extending from the chin down.  This style means a bloke is demonstrating his blokiness and alpha-maleness, however it needs to be groomed to be truly effective.  Management of this style for kissing purposes would be a challenge for both parties.
-    Goatee – a mature style, signifying dignity and passion, which can be worn well or done rather badly.  Kissing with this style would, in some ways, present the most complex challenges as the Goatee is often cropped quite short and would be rather bristly.
-       3-day Growth Scruff – This is a very sexy look, but must be well maintained within the context of the overall personal presentation.  Must always be presented with impeccable personal hygiene.  Limited difficulties with kissing, although caution is advised.
-       Burns – Not quite a beard, but still has some facial hairy bits. Perhaps the bloke is not very decisive.  Or a non-committal type.  Burns work really well coupled with a Goatee or 3-Day Growth Scruff look.  Or they can work just on their own.  Burns present no problems with kissing at all.
-       Chinstrap – the most unfavourite style of women everywhere!  This is about attention.  If you’re going to spend time messing with shaping a Chinstrap to look so weird, why not channel that energy into mowing the lawn and doing the edges!?  Kissing?  Who wants to kiss a wanker anyway?
-       The Tom Sellick Mo – the mo on its own is said to be the most difficult part of facial hair to cope with.  It needs constant maintenance and carries high risk involving bits of bodily fluids and food getting stuck in it, and carries challenges with snogging.   For a bloke to take on the challenge of the mo, signifies that he loves a challenge and will not be intimidated by things which are difficult.  The Mo can also go horribly wrong and scream ‘sleazebag’.  So it may not be for every bloke.
-       Handlebars – this style ups the ante on the Tom Sellick Mo.  It goes an extra step and signifies that this bloke is willing to groom his facial follicles constantly to perfection.  Although some difficulties may be associated with kissing, with practice these can be overcome by attempting alternative directional approaches.
-       The Tiny Bottom Lip Patch – What a lot of work must go into a tiny little patch of hair.  This is akin to maintaining the Victor for a square inch of grass.   It can look good though, and when it works, it works extremely well.  Few, to no kissing issues here.
-       Mutton Chops – if you want to look like a small, furry animal has died on your face, grow Mutton Chops.  The bloke who wears these well deserves admiration as they are a bold and brave statement.  If you can get past the visual impact to the kissing stage, then go for it!
-       Clean Shaven – seems very unusual these days, but this style presents no problems with the passion department, as there’s no hair to get in the way of kissing.  But doesn't fit well with Movember either!

This brings me to the issues of kissing during movember.  Meyles, who supports mens health wholeheartedly, wears his facial hair year round.  This means I am constantly faced with the issue of kissing what feels like a toilet brush against my face which scratches and can leave a rash on my delicate skin.

After extensive research, experts of facial hair issues such as the scratchiness against skin stuff, recommend that blokes use shampoo and conditioner on their facial hair to soften it and reduce the ‘toilet brush effect’.  

Roll on Movember!

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