man-flu

Man Flu:  the condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening.  (Urban Dictionary)

So Meyles has got man-flu.  Anyone would think this illness is about to appear on the National Health and Safety List of Notifiable Diseases.  He is certainly doing a lot of notifying!  Yeah he’s got a bit of a blocked nose, but it’s only a common cold for goodness sake!  He’s been away for work all week, and performs outstandingly.  But the minute I collect him from the airport on Friday night, it’s, “Ooooh, I feel like crap.  I can’t breathe properly.  It’s so cold.  Can I have some chicken soup please?  (Cough, cough, sigh.)”  I almost wish he’d get back on the plane again!

All night long he gurgles away in bed.  Verrrry unsexy!  He coughs and clears his throat.  No way am I snuggling up to that!  Ewww!  “Oooh I didn’t sleep very well.” He informs me in the morning, “I feel terrible.” 

I had so many things I needed to get done today.  So I did the washing, ironed his shirts, cleaned the ensuite, changed the sheets, cooked and cleaned.  I suggested he sit in the sun for a while to get the sun on his face, but oh no... it’s too hot, too bright, too hard to move, too uncomfortable, blah blah blah!

My advice to other women who’s partners have man-flu is to escape the house and go out for coffee after saying something to this effect: 

Man-flu!  You’ve got to be kidding!  It’s only a blocked nose for goodness sake.  Have you mowed the lawn yet?  Why not!

My sympathies go out to all the other women who have had the most unfortunate experience of having a partner who claims to have man-flu.  My heart aches for you.  Stay strong.