Monday, 3 October 2011

Yes People

win / lose

Yes People:  Exhibiting external agreement coupled with simultaneous internal disagreement.  Placing others’ needs above their own.  Saying one thing with words, but another thing with actions.  

Yes People are locked in a prison.  Life for them is about pleasing other people and saying yes when they really want to say no.  Yes People learn that things are easier if they don’t rock the boat or draw any undue attention to themselves.  Yes people want to hide, blend in, shut up instead of speak up, appear helpless and demure and let others come to rescue them.

Yes People use ‘fuzzy language’.  Coupled with a shrug, a sort of slow, fuzzy response to even the simplest question will often be enough to turn the questioner aside and learn not to ask anymore.  They deflect - don’t answer anything directly or clearly, making any verbal response fuzzy and vague.  This will train others never to expect too much.   

Yes People also use complaining as a handy tool.  By being passive, others are forced to take the reins leaving Yes People to ‘kick the horse’.  In this regard Yes People become manipulative.  Always side-stepping responsibility to force others to pick up more than their fair share.

Yes People cannot maintain such a mindset without consequences.   And the consequences are devastating long term.  Relationships would be the big loser here.  And the consequences of such behaviour doesn’t stop with the Yes Person themselves, but spills over into the relationships around them as they systematically lose the respect of others.

What can Yes People do to help themselves?  This is not a prison which is easy to break out of.  Do they know they are in prison and do they want to be free?  What are the bars in the window which keep them locked inside?  

What are your thoughts or comments on Yes People, and setting them free?  Comments welcome.

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