yeah about my drug test

I got tested for drug use today. Before I start my next contract, I had to have one. So after signing the consent I waited in a special little room in a pathology centre until the official Tester arrived. Thankfully, a female. I couldn’t resist, so I asked her about reasons why people get tested.  

People get drug tested for all sorts of reasons. Some reasons include:

• ·         Someone starts a new job with certain organisations (like me)
• ·         The Court orders a drug test for someone
• ·         Some wives make ask their husbands to get tested
• ·         A newly formed couple get tested together

How bizarre! She seemed to warm to her topic with enthusiasm. I was totally intrigued.

about the sample

A wee sample must be provided on the site, with the Tester in the same room. Thankfully my level of security didn’t involve the Tester having to witness the event, but she was in the room on the other side of the screen.

Sometimes the poor Tester gets to see and hear things which she’d rather not have to. Depending on the level of test required, she may have to witness the actual sample being given, rather than just being on the other side of a screen, as in my case. Of course people get stage fright, or accuse her of all sorts of things. The Tester takes all this in her stride, as she’s seen a lot of different samples.

about temperature

She has to check the temperature of the sample. Why? I asked. To make sure it’s at body temperature, was the reply.

Sometimes people getting tested have a little ‘sample’ they brought with them and it’s not the right temperature. The Tester told me sometimes they can see a tell-tale dribble down the side of someone’s leg if their container starts to leak before they get to the sample stage.

the human check

One of the tests is to ensure the sample is human.

Sometimes people try to slip in their cat’s wee and pass it off as their own!

last bit

Of course the sample goes to a lab to get tested for drugs as well and I had to tell them that I had a puff of my asthma spray that day, just so they knew what to expect to find. But what an interesting experience! I was really quite excited about it!

I so hope they don’t find the ice…..