Monday, 30 July 2012

all about lurve

what it's not
Jealous.  Boastful.  Proud.  Rude.  Irritable.

what it doesn't do
Demand its own way.  Keep score.  Enjoy the other's downfall.

what it never does
Gives up. Loses hope.

what it does
Is patient, kind, truthful.

This doesn't mean that you're not in love if you get irritable at times. It's just that there are behaviours which build lurve, and behaviours which diminish it.

the skills of lurve are learned - 
they don't just appear

>> be truthful.  Transparency is not about being kind (with no honesty), or about being honest (with no kindness).  It is about being totally honest and totally kind both at the same time.  This is a learned skill and builds levels of trust as vulnerability is explored.  This is exquisitely beautiful in operation. Here's a tip: when your partner begins to share truthfully, listen. And don't give any cause for them never to trust you again with their treasure.

>>agreement.  Don't try to win against the other. If one of you wins, the couple loses. It's not a competition. It's a partnership. The aim is for agreement. If both of you are not comfortable, don't proceed.  

So I wish you all lots of lurve.

(25 years married this November!) 

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