Saturday, 21 July 2012

a cure for the social dickhead’s hope that when the Social Dickhead (SD) is sober, he actually reflects on his own capacity to alienate people and develops a curiosity of how things might be different for him.  

Naaah.  It’ll never happen.  Pffft.

We’ve all been there - subject to the full frontal assault of the SD.  He’s the opinionated, loud and ignorant one who has no capacity to pick up on the cues of other people and respond accordingly.  Every time he opens his mouth, something cringe-worthy comes out.

Anyhoo.  Just in case a SD has actually done some internal auditing or self-reflection (a highly unlikely event), here’s a few tips on how to stop being a Social Dickhead:

1. Talk less.  If you minimise what comes out of your mouth, you will delay the inevitable realisation of others that you are suffering from a serious case of Social Dickhead-ry.

2. Be slightly less opinionated.  If you must express your strong opinion about everything, try to be a little more positive, or kind in your utterances.  Quit complaining about the presentation of the prawn cocktail.  It was fine. 

3. Listen more.  When you see other people’s mouths moving, that means they’re saying something.  It’s important to hear what they say.

4. Assume less.  Not everyone lives for free beer.  

5. Dancing suggestion.  If you insist on dancing, try not to embarrass your partner with the ‘frog in the blender’ look.  In fact, a little less beer would potentially help you with this.

Just a suggestion. For your consideration.

Ever sat next to a SD at a function?  How was it?

1 comment: