4 survival rules for ikea

my friend irene and i ready to go in. we didn't
look this enthusiastic at the other end!

It’s true. I went to Ikea yesterday, and have lived to tell the tale!

It was my first ever trip. I truly had no concept beforehand of the magnitude and energy this would involve. Ikea is not a place where you just ‘swing by’ to pick stuff up. Oh no.

• You go in

• You spend the day

• You emerge a different person (mainly because you feel 10 years older!) 

4 rules to survive Ikea:

Rule 1:  fortify yourself with coffee 

As the Ikea experience will take several hours, you would be wise to be well hydrated, and fortified with caffeine beforehand. Even though I had my trusty water bottle in my handbag, my water was soon gone and I was very thirsty by the time we emerged. Ikea hosts its own cafeteria where we et lunch (allowing its customers to maintain their shopping experience without the interruption or inconvenience of leaving the store.) However I had a sixth sense that buying their coffee from the press-button-cafeteria-machine would perhaps not be a wise choice, so waited until it was all over red rover for my next caffeine instalment.

Rule 2:  take note of the carpark

I took a picture of the carpark level where we were as I have no sense of direction in a new environment – specially when I cannot navigate by the stars. (I once lost my car in one of these carparks, and wandered aimlessly for hours, blubbering, until I found it sitting alone in the dark, and it was the most beautiful Datsun 1200 I had ever seen.) It cost us $30 for the carpark yesterday as we had spent just over 6 hours there. Some of that time was spent in the ‘recovery coffee shop’ however the bulk of that 6 hours was toughing it out in Ikea-land.

Rule 3:  wear comfy shoes

Once you go in, there’s no going back. Cleverly, Ikea have you entering one door, moving through the entire shop (so you walk passed everything) and exiting through another door on a different floor of the building, several hours later. There are arrows on the floor to keep everyone moving in the same direction. By the end I couldn’t wait to sit down somewhere - somewhere there weren’t hundreds of people moving about.

Rule 4:  stay within budget

meyles driving home at speed!

Prices are very reasonable. And I can understand why someone may overspend in a place like that. Thankfully we had a clear list of what we were looking for, and as Ikea don’t stock shower heads and were out of stock of the magnetic knife holders, we resorted to a few cushions, pillows, stable table, and storage box thingy. The mirrors we wanted wouldn’t fit in the car, so we didn’t buy any.