Friday, 19 October 2012

my ideal friend

I spend a lot of time listening to the radio during my 90 minutes of commuting every day. I heard a discussion about loneliness in Australia. 

Loneliness is the gap between the level of connectedness you want and the level of connectedness you actually feel. 

Many people are now using social media and the Internet to meet others. Just last weekend I had breakfast with someone who I hadn't seen for nearly 25 years, who I reconnected with via Facebook. And I know several people who have met partners via website dating services (although they are a little shy about telling you this).

It takes time to build friendships. Friendships don't just happen. I find I have to invest in friendships and allow them to build and grow in their own time. Most of us lead very busy lives and have limited time. find myself unconsciously wondering about new contacts, and whether they will be a good friend-fit for me.  I hope for a level of self-awareness, vulnerability, thoughtfulness and a willingness to reciprocate equivalent investment in potential friends.

One of my greatest pleasures in life is to engage in a meaningful conversation - to be trusted by another person with their vulnerability, and conversely, to believe they understand me, are interested and accept me without passing judgment. This sounds intense, but friendships build over time and as levels of trust are embedded, then more and more vulnerability and acceptance is released.

Someone once said that:

"Really great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget."  

I agree. So to all my friends, thank you for your friendship. You are highly valued and much loved.

1 comment:

  1. there is certainly a difference between alone and lonely and I have experiences both. And yes, I too find myself (I say with not just a little embarrassment), assessing people for ''friendability''