Sunday, 12 June 2011

of techno-hell & heaven

Since the advent of wondrous new technology surrounding our TV, PVR, DVD and 3D capacity, many of you have asked how our technology troubles have been progressing. 

Read about living in techno-hell and 9 easy steps to total frustration for the background goss.

techno heaven
I have good news!  We can now turn the telly on / off, turn the volume up / down, use the mute button (why don’t some people have these?) and change channels in a variety of new and exciting technical ways!  We can also put the PVR on 'standby' which means the bright blue light on it doesn't burn through your eyelids while you're trying to sleep at night. It seems fairly inconspicuous during the day, but when you turn out all the other lights and try to sleep, the amount of light it gives off is incredible!  And that’s not all!  There’s more!  Yes folks, we’ve also discovered a little lost cord kicking around the bottom of the box that connected two gismos that makes the recording thingy work too!  That means we can record 2 programs at once!  Like the box says we can.  Yes!  So now we don’t have to take it back to the shop after all and complain it doesn’t work properly.

This is a huge leap forward for mankind – we can use our new technology!  This week we progressed even further in our understanding and application of the complexities of modern technology.  We learnt about the fast-forward button when watching a recorded program.  We can accelerate the speed of ‘forward’ up to 32 times faster by re-pressing the button.  And it works the same in ‘backwards’ mode – up to 32 times faster.  There’s also a ‘skip’ function that skips 30 seconds at a time, which is useful when you want to skip through the recorded commercials.

techno hell
However.  And there’s always a big ‘however’....  After watching a frustrating Hugh Grant and young Julia Roberts in the recorded movie Notting Hill just as the car full of friends is tearing around to find Julia Roberts so Hugh Grant can declare his undying love for her – must’ve been all of 5 minutes from the end of the movie – the recording stopped and we never got to see the last few minutes of the movie.  Aarrrgghhhh!!!  So.  Does anyone know how the movie ended?

Our next techno-challenge is to interpret the TV guide to understand that when it says the movie ends at 10.30pm, it actually doesn’t.  It could be anytime – in fact the people in TV-land may decide to start or finish something sooner or later, or not at all.  Depends how they feel on the night.  And those of us living in techno-hell out here, will just have to live with it.  We must realise that the term ‘TV Guide’ is to be understood in the true sense of the word ‘guide’.  It’s not to be taken too literally, but merely refers to any manufacturer of dairy products.

Anyone who can tell me how the movie ended will win points.  Lots of points.

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