5 more words everyone should know

Photographer:  Tom Curtis

After the response from my previous frivolous blog about the language and words my family use, I thought that perhaps it was time for another 5 words.  We laughed about the previous words over Easter as a family when we got together, and it stimulated a whole lot more memories about our fun words.  We have fun together with these. 

So now that you’re sitting down with your tulupsty pob pob and bung bungs, take a look in the mirror at your ponky hair and pelchy cheeks and read this blog, you glunkers!

Here's 5 more words:

Muckwow:  (muck-wow) A cocker spaniel.  Especially a golden one.  (Our family pets were always muckwows, and we had one that was friends with our pet ringtail possum.  “Possy” used to climb up the back leg of the muckwow and ride on her back.

Mehmeh:  (me-meehhh)  A female goat.  One of those white ones with little ‘twiddly bits’ (a scientific term) hanging from the throat.  We often had memehs.  40 years ago at least, Bull used to drive around with our mehmeh in the backseat of the car, lift her over a fence for a few minutes with a horny billy, and then take her home again.  A few weeks later... beautiful baby goats would arrive!

Pardwinken:  (Pard-wink-un)  An old codger.  Especially with a long overcoat.  Crossing the road.  Taking his time.  Old and a bit doddery.

Spinny-spinny:  (spin-nee-spin-nee)  A cylindrical device with an internal framework, used to extract honey from bee-hives.  It has a handle to turn on the side and the internal framework spins – but not too fast – and all the honey comes out of the frame and settles on the bottom of the spinny-spinny, ready to pour out of the little tap at the bottom.

Cut-Cock:  (cutcock – spoken quickly as one word, in a short and detached manner) A circumcised bloke.  The original term related to a specific person, but would equally apply to any circumcisee who no doubt would prefer to remain nameless.  Only to be used within the context of a private conversation - not in the presence of the aforementioned Cutcock.   

So there you have the next instalment.  Extra points are allocated to anyone who uses these words in a comment.  

how to get your husband to go to the supermarket

Photographer:  Ambro

Sometimes women ask me how I ‘trained’ my husband to be so wonderful.  It seems like I have a one-in-a-million husband because other women feel rather wistful when it comes to my lot in life.  So here’s some of my tips on how to get your husband to go to the supermarket – a job we both hate with a passion.

Step 1:  Don’t set out with the main goal of supermarket shopping in mind.  Go out for coffee and to pick up a DVD – and by the way, we’ll just whip into the supermarket to get some maple syrup, which is right next door to the DVD shop.

Step 2:  Park the car at the DVD shop (right next to the supermarket) and pick out a DVD together.  Decide to get coffee first, before the maple syrup.

Step 3:  Fortify yourselves with good quality caffeine.  Find a nice place and have a good coffee together.  Relax and enjoy it.  Talk about whatever and make it a pleasant outing for both of you.  The location of the coffee shop should not be further than walking distance from where you’ve already parked the car.

Step 4:  On the way into the shopping centre where the supermarket is, start slowing down and browsing the clothing racks out the front of all the clothing shops, reassuring your husband all the time that, “I’ll just have a quick look....”

Step 5:  Take your time and begin to invite your husband to comment on a particular dress or top.

Step 6:  Agree with your husband’s suggestion that he go to the supermarket while you look in the shops.  Oh and can you also pick up some bread, tomatoes and a tin of beetroot too?  Be ready with your new clothing purchase/s by the time he gets out of the supermarket with the maple syrup.

Note:  This step is greatly enhanced if you can also find a cooperative sales lady within the shop who understands the dynamics of balancing shopping needs, husbands and supermarket requirements.

Although these instructions are based upon my own experience this procedure can also be adapted to any duo relationship where one is required to go to the supermarket while the other needs to buy clothes.  It is not only limited to husbands, however does seem to work extremely well with a husband.

Feedback on this procedure would only provide me with further opportunity to refine these instructions for future effectiveness.  Thank you for your contribution.

5 words everyone should know

I don’t know if everyone’s family is like this.  But when I grew up, mine liked to sort of invent words to describe certain things.  These words became embedded in our family culture and are still used today.  This concept has been developed over time and I am about to share with you some of my favourite words which are so descriptive by nature, our English language pales by comparison!  Yes it does.  So.  What are they?  (BTW, you get points if you use these words in a comment!)

Ponky:  (pong-kee) Pertaining to a rough surface, when smoothness is required.  Usually relates to hairstyles, from an era when smoothness was ‘in’.  Of course the more ponky look is very glam now – the ponkier the better.

Tulupsty:  (cha-lōōp-stee)  This is about texture, especially moistness.  Often used during cooking to determine whether a cake mix is tulupsty enough, or whether it needs more wet ingredients.

Pelchy:  (Pel-chee)  My cousin Rod always had a pelchy bum.  Pelchy is a positive term used to describe roundess.  Can also refer to cheeks when smiling.  A bloke in E’s class at school always had “ping pong balls in his cheeks” because they were pelchy when he smiled. 

Pob Pob:  (pob pob)  The proper term for rolled oat porridge.  Pob pob is a much better word because it describes the very nature of the cooking process as it plops and blips slowly during the simmering stage.  Also must be combined with bung bungs (the proper term for sultanas). 

Glunker:  (glung-ka)  A derogatory term used to describe poor driving capacity of every other driver on the road.  Most effective when used by Bull (my father).

So there you have them.  I have always thought this was completely normal in my family, until other people looked at me funny.  So.  What word would you use to describe this phenomenon of a family language?  Anybody?

of cats, cars & kilos

A few of you have asked how my new job is going, about the cat, my health goals and transport to/from work and so this blog will be a 4-for-the-price-of-one progress report!

Previous Blog: I started a new job today

I’ve worked 40 hours this week and I am absolutely stuffed! How do people work full time as well as have a life these days? It is a bit of a shock to the system to suddenly add 40 hours a week to my otherwise charmed existence. I am so knackered by Thursday and the weekend is all about recovery!

I’ve had 2 weeks in my job and it is going well. It is a great job so far. Writing for this team is quite a new skill as the information is gathered from various resources such as user acceptance testing scripts, system specs, policies, business rules, and recreating scenarios on the system (which I am learning as I go). I’m finding it different to previous roles in that I just can’t go and ask someone a simple question, but have to trawl through documents to try and find stuff out – then interpret – the information. Once I have a process as accurate as I can get it, I then have to set up a workshop with a few high-level users who will give me feedback so I can go and refine it again. I haven’t done a workshop yet, but I expect to within the next week or so. My first BP (business process) is written, I have to mess with the formatting so it will upload to the next system, and then I will workshop it. Once I have my head around all the various info gathering places, and have done my first workshop I will feel a lot more confident.

Previous Blog: The hell that is public transport

This week I drove myself to/from work and parked in a car park nearby for $4 a day which is a great price. It’s been raining this week too so I was real glad I didn’t have to battle the ferry/bus system. I think the car theme is going to continue. Of course I can always use the ferry/bus if necessary, but the flexibility of taking the car is much, much better. Also I have flexible hours so having the car makes it easy to wiggle with the start/finish time every day.

I also need exactly $4 of change every day as that’s the only way to pay for the car park, and I also learned (the hard way) that I have to buy the parking ticket from the proper machine (even though there’s no sign) otherwise the ticket doesn’t indicate that paying before 9am gives me the early-bird all-day park. This cost me $8 on the first day but I’m into the groove now.

Previous Blog: button of success progress report

Due to the energy consequences of working 40 hours a week my exercise routine has suffered. I was trying to maintain it until I got ‘run-down-headache’ syndrome, mouth ulcers and a coldsore – all signs that my body needs rest. So I have to listen to my body and rest while the headache passes, and just back off slightly on the strength routine expectations each week, so that instead of backing off, I can build the intensity gradually as my body accustoms itself.

But my weight has slid in the right direction. This morning the loss since early January is now at 3.2 kilos. This means that my metabolism is still working. Learning new things boosts metabolism because it’s taxing brain-energy. My jeans are feeling more comfortable to wear now.

Previous Blog: one seriously pissed off cat

A day after the previous worming-tablet episode, Meyles found a coughed-up, soggy, half worming tablet under the coffee table. Still, the cat has been barf-less, so my attempts at feeding him tablets must’ve worked! However... Hugo (the half-puma feline) also got a good dose of ear mites which caused him considerable angst, with much shaking of head, scratching and even more irritability than normal (if that were possible). So Meyles got him some ear drops which he did not enjoy by any stretch of the imagination and after which he was creeping around the house with his tail down with a look on his face like a total victim - pissed off but powerless. After punishing us by not talking to us for a night, he started to feel better and is now sucking up once again looking for attention, so all is normal for now.

Please keep topic requests coming – I’m happy to have a crack at them. Any comments? Click ‘here’ and comment away.

one seriously pissed off cat

Contributor: Salvatore Vuono

Meyles sodded off to Melbourne for 3 days this week and left me to start my new job without him (sniff). And so the cat gets sick. I didn’t know he was sick until this morning I heard that unmistakable sound that sort of sounds like slow knocking.... I raced down the hall but he barfed everywhere just before I left for work on the carpet, and also chunky bits on the tiles as I tried to move him. He hardly ever does that. I cleaned it up and went off to work. When I came home he seemed fine. And then within 30 minutes after eating, I heard it again.... and this time it was on the tiles, thankfully!

I rang my sister who breeds cats – Ragdoll ones – and asked her advice. She said three things:

1. Worm him
2. Check him for ticks – don’t forget between the toes and in his ears
3. Check his ears for ear mites

The easiest thing was to check his ears, which I did and they were clear. I did a half-baked check for ticks, and I am yet to complete this (when I can get near him again). But it’s been ages since he was wormed, so I went to the supermarket and picked up some worming tablets. Previously we’ve used a paste, which he hates so much, that I decided that tablets would be over and done with. [Insert sarcastic laugh.] Of course being such a hefty mongrel, I needed two tablets because each one does up to 5kg of pussy-weight.

It occurred to me briefly to wait till Meyles got home late tonight to try and give him the tablets. But feeling rather confident in my own abilities I figured I’d seen Meyles do it often enough and it looked easy. I mean, how hard can it be? Not only that, but the cat was hungry and I had to give him this medication on an empty stomach.

So I got him and positioned him between my knees, facing away from me. Unsuspecting Hugo cooperated beautifully for the first tablet. Easy! The second tablet however, proved more difficult. Hugo had wised up considerably in the short space of time between tablets, and after several goes at it there were bits of white cat-spit and gooey wet tablet fragments all over the floor! Plus the cat kept trying to escape to the other end of the house. By now I was committed. I had to finish the job or else the medication wouldn’t be effective. The phone started ringing. I ignored it. I prized open his mouth and shoved in the tablet again while his tongue pushed it out. Finally had to hold his chin up for ages waiting for him to swallow. He wouldn’t swallow, but started chewing! Fair enough. Chewing is good. I kept holding his chin. His eyes looked at me during this time with rage and I knew I had to keep the chin up until he swallowed. After what seemed like ages, he eventually gave a gentle swallow. There were bits of white tablet-cat-spit frothing out of his mouth and though no more pieces of tablet escaped, gobs of spit did.

He is hiding in the garage under the car and feeling like a total victim. Now I am considering how to win the cat’s trust back.

Have you done this? What tips do you have? Click ‘here’ and give me your tips.

cafe rant

Contributor: Sura Nualpradid

Today Meyles and I went out for coffee and an early lunch. We chose a new cafe we hadn’t tried before, as all our faves were full. So we went to The Kitchen in Darby Street, Newcastle.

If I was to score this out of ten I would give them:

• 8 out of 10 for coffee
• 4 out of 10 for service

I got the feeling that The Kitchen was geared towards 20-something people and that those of us outside that age zone were invisible. The place was 70% full when we arrived and the staff seemed a little disorganised and busy. Half the customers there were well over 20-something (that included us by the way). However we sat at a prominent table and waited for service.

It is a basic courtesy to acknowledge customers who are waiting. We don’t need you to jump instantly to serve us – we can see you’re busy. But just a nod or establish eye contact pretty soon after arrival, or even say, “Be with you shortly” let’s people know they are not invisible.

We must have waited a full 5 minutes when some 20-somethings arrived and sat at the table next to us. Before they had even settled in, the waitress was handing them menus and asking for drink orders - without yet having even noticed us! Meyles then directly asked her for menus as well. When she brought them, we ordered coffee. We waited a long time for the coffee to arrive, and Meyles saw other people being served in cups with lipstick still showing from the previous customer!

The coffee was good. But by this time we had decided to skip lunch and go elsewhere.

Got any good stories about service? Click ‘here’ and have a rant.

dear readers of cardinal cyn's blog

Image: Idea go

I knew bugger all about blogs and it took me half a day of swearing to get this one started. I’d like to tell you how some blog things work, because I had no idea and thought you may find these tips helpful.

what does ‘follow’ do?

By clicking on ‘Follow’ allows you follow my blog from your reading list. To be a follower, you also need an account with Google, or similar (you will be prompted to logon if you click Follow). Following also means that I will be able to click on your ‘follow picture’ and see information about you. (Similar to how Facebook works)

follow by email

Another option is to add your email address here and automatically receive any new blogs on your nominated email address.

leaving a comment

I have to tell you I get all excited when there’s a comment on one of my blogs! Yes I do! At first it was hard for readers to leave a comment because of blog-speak, but I have fixed it now. You can just click and leave a comment now – if you don’t have a Google account that’s OK – you can make an anonymous comment.

do you want to suggest a topic?

I’m happy to have a crack at suggested topics. So if you want, give me your suggestions. I am certainly open to suggestion although I may need to allocate some topics to the too-hard basket.

thank you

I am grateful to my readers for your support and encouragement. This blog was an experiment for me and one that I am quite enjoying. I am totally amazed that other people are interested! And I’m delighted too. So thank you all.

More blogs soon.

Cardinal Cyn